To Ask Hard Questions

There are a number of reasons why I decided to start my own personal blog. One of the biggest reasons is because of the place I'm at in my spiritual walk and the things God is teaching me right now. It's sometimes easier to write about my thoughts to nobody in particular, than it is to figure out how to talk about it in real life. I talk about these things with my fiance, but sometimes I still feel the urge to write about it, to somehow declare to the world, "This is where I stand. This is what I think. This is how I feel. This is who I am." And there is always a small thought in the back of my mind that says, "Maybe there's someone else out there who feels the same way, who is going through the same thing, who would be encouraged by what I have to say." And so I decided to blog.

The place I am at in spiritual walk that I alluded to earlier perhaps could be described as a time of questioning. I don't mean questioning my faith, questioning my salvation, questioning the deity of Christ or the authority of the Bible. I mean questioning things I have been taught, things I have always believed, standards that I have held or been required to hold. I am the kind of person who has an irrepressible urge to ask "Why?" Why do we live this way? Why do we do this? Why do we believe this? As I have grown older, the urge to know why has grown stronger. Somehow the answers that used to satisfy me don't anymore. As I have grown in knowledge, wisdom and maturity, I realize that many of the answers I have been given, don't really answer the question.

Unfortunately, this questioning is steadily becoming less and less acceptable in my family. My parent's always taught me to think for myself. They taught me not to simply accept what people told me, but to search out the truth for myself. Especially biblical truth. Perhaps it did not occur to them that I would begin to apply the same principle to the things that they themselves told me. Maybe they did not realize that in thinking for myself, I might disagree with them or come to different conclusions.

My questions often seem to be seen as a threat. Whether consciously or subconsciously, the impression is given that to question is to rebel. To disagree with what my dad says, is to disagree with God Himself. Perhaps this communication is unintentional, but it is there all the same. I have learned to keep most of my questions to myself or to ask them elsewhere.

So that is, in part, the purpose of this blog. To ask the hard questions, to root out lies I have believed, to understand what God's word says and choose to believe it for myself, and to encourage others who are asking their own questions.