My Courtship Story: A promise of forever

This is the final part of my courtship story. Be sure to read the rest of it (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5)

Courtship

Like I mentioned at the end of part 5, we did learn to related to each other without so much awkwardness. The months that followed the beginning of our courtship were more wonderful than anything I had ever dreamed.......and more challenging than I could have ever imagined.

There were so many things that were new and wonderful. Holding hands with someone for the first time. Hearing Rohn tell me I was beautiful. Learning about each other's interests, beliefs, habits and dreams. Building a trust so deep that I could be completely open and honest with Rohn in ways I had never done with anyone before. Sending him sweet notes, cookies, cards, thinking of ways to let him know how much I cared for him.

There were also many challenges during those months of courtship. Learning to be sensitive to each other's needs. Learning to forgive. Learning to resolve disagreement. Learning to relate to some family members and friends who had less-than-positive attitudes about this new phase of our lives. Learning to share things from our pasts that we'd much rather forget.

Though we spent a lot of time talking about many different things, one thing we never said to each other was, "I love you." The reason we didn't say that was not because we didn't love each other! Far from it! We were falling more in love by the day! But we didn't want "I love you" to be empty meaningless words. We didn't want them to be the same as when a couple of jr. highers say "I love you" and then break up 2 days later. As Rohn said, "Bekah, if I ever tell you that I love you, the next words out of my mouth are going to be, 'Will you marry me?'" That was a hard commitment to keep. I have never wanted to say three simple words so badly in my entire life!

Since Rohn and I live 177 miles apart, we weren't able to see each other as frequently as many couples. Usually only every other weekend. We cherished those times together. When we were together we talked (A LOT!), we spent time with our families, played games, visited each other's churches, participated in ministry and many other activities.

Now what?

Rohn and I spent quite a bit of time serving in ministry together over the summer. As we neared the end of July something began to change in our relationship. We didn't realize it at first, but there seemed to be an underlying tension between us.

You see, we had been courting for 7 months, we knew we wanted to get married, we were certain that God wanted us to get married, we had discussed all the important topics and then some, we had developed a deep and meaningful relationship, and we were head over heals in love with each other. The only logical thing left to do was start planning a wedding! We began to feel like we had mentally and emotionally reached the end of courtship.

As I've said before, relationships don't stay still, they either move forward or backward. At this point we felt that our relationship had gone forward as far as it could without the commitment of engagement.

It seemed as though it was time to get engaged, but as usual, there were problems. We had already been talking about getting married in May, but July to May is an awful long time and we were a bit afraid of making our engagement too long. But the biggest problem was (I'll give you three guesses) once again, his parents. Yup, that's right, when Rohn and I were first friends, they didn't want to meet me. After they met me, they didn't want Rohn to court me. Once we were courting, they didn't want Rohn to marry me (they like me, they really do! I promise!). I don't understand it either. Rohn wanted to get his parents blessing before moving toward engagement, but how was he going to do that since they were set against us getting engaged?

The talk

Finally Rohn decided to just go ahead and talk to his parents anyway. He told his dad that he wanted to talk about something important one Sunday afternoon. "On a scale of one to ten, Dad, this is an eleven." He then proceeded to explain where we were in our relationship and how he felt that it was time to move on to engagement. By now you can probably guess what happened. God worked and Rohn's parents gave their blessing. I don't really know what all was said in that conversation, I just know that at the end after the blessing had been given, Rohn's dad said something to the effect of, "Now hurry up and get going!"

That week Rohn called my dad and arranged a time to meet with both of my parents that Saturday. All correspondence was done via my dad's work e-mail and phone so that there was no way I could stumble upon any evidence. Rohn also contacted Mandy, my best friend and next door neighbor, and enlisted her help for what he was planning.

Friday night my mom asked me off hand, "Dad and I want to go out for a date tomorrow for breakfast, can you watch the kids?" I agreed, but I did think it was a bit unusual. It wasn't unusual for my parents to go on a date, but I couldn't ever remember them going out for breakfast before. The thought did cross my mind that perhaps it had something to do with Rohn, but I checked the caller ID to see if he had called and saw that he hadn't. I kept my ears open, but didn't pick up on any other hints, so I concluded that they must have gone out for some other reason. That Saturday was also the day that my cousin was getting married, so I was a bit distracted anyway.

So it was completely unbeknownst to me that Rohn drove three hours to meet my parents for breakfast and asked them for permission to marry me. They gave their blessing and then Rohn drove three hours back home. With my cousin's wedding and all, there really wasn't any way that he could propose yet that day. Besides the fact that he hadn't bought a ring yet! He bought the ring later that day.

Little did I know

Sunday evening Mandy and I went to hear our other best friend, Bethany, play the organ. We were all talking afterward and Bethany made some comment about me getting married. I rolled my eyes, "I might get married if that boy ever decides to ask me!" Mandy, knowing full well that he was about to propose, replied calmly, "Well, you have to consider his personality. He's not the type to make decisions quickly. Give him time. He might propose in about 20 years or so." I nearly exploded! "If he waits 20 years to propose, I sure hope he can find someone to propose to!"

Before we parted company that night, Mandy and I agreed that we really needed to spend some more time together as she was heading off to college before long. "I really want to go walking on the nature trail one more time before I leave." She told me, "Lets go out there tomorrow afternoon." I agreed.

A dream come true

Monday morning dawned rainy and drizzly. I called Mandy, "This doesn't look like a good day for a walk. Let's do something else." She nearly panicked, "I think the rain has stopped by now and I'm sure it will be nice by later this afternoon." I wasn't convinced, "But it will still be muddy. I don't feel like walking in the mud. Let's do something inside this afternoon and try again tomorrow."

Mandy was really panicking now! How in the world was she going to get me out there? She tried calling Rohn, but he was on his way and didn't have any reception at that point. She called me again after a little while and said, "Hey, I have another idea. Let's go sit on the haybales and talk. I've checked and the grass is all dried off already." I was still a bit worried about the mud, but I agreed to this plan. Now this might seem a little strange to some of you, but you must understand that Mandy and I both live out in the country and walking around in fields and climbing around on haybales are favorite activities for us.

I walked out to meet Mandy and we headed down the road toward the field where the haybales where. As we headed out across the field I noticed someone sitting by on of the bales. I was too far away to see who it was and I thought it must be Mandy's and my younger sisters. The were the only ones I could think of who would be in this field. I didn't think much of it and we kept walking.

After we had walked a little farther, the person stood up and began coming toward us. At that point I could tell that it was a man, but he was still to far away to recognize. At first I thought that we must be intruding on somebody's special moment with their girl and that he was coming to tell us to leave, but then I realized that there was nobody else with him. I kind of started freaking out at that point. I was deliberately walking away from this guy, and he was deliberately coming toward us. I kept asking Mandy, "Who is that guy? What does he want? Mandy! There's a random guy walking toward us!" but she didn't say anything.

Then suddenly I recognized him. I think my heart stopped beating for a second. There was only one reason on earth that Rohn would randomly show up on a Monday afternoon without me knowing about it. I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't move. Mandy just grinned and said, "Well, looks like it's time for me to be going now." and headed back toward home.

As soon as Rohn saw me stop and knew that I recognized him, he began running toward me. I still couldn't move, so I just stood there until he reached me and swept me into his arms. I was still in complete shock and kept asking him, "How did you get here? What are you doing here?". There was only one reason I could think of for him to just show up like this, but I just couldn't get my mind around it.

He took me by the hand and led me back to the place where he had been sitting by the haybale. He had a lawn chair set up and asked me to sit down. He then picked up his guitar, which he had nearby, and began to play a song he had written just for me. They were the sweetest words I had ever heard, all about how much I meant to him. Then he got to the chorus and sang, "And I love you, Bekah, I love you" My heart soared and I started to cry. It was the first time I had heard him say those words!

He finished the song and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. By this time, I was just bawling! He said it didn't take me that long, but to me it felt like forever before I could choke out a "yes!" I gave him a huge hug and he slipped the most beautiful ring I had ever seen onto my finger! We were both giddy with excitement! We jumped and shouted and spun circles around in that field!

It was the perfect proposal. I loved every aspect of it. It nearly brings me to tears just remembering it.

I may be done writing about my love story for now, but the story is definitely not done. We are counting down to our wedding in 57 days and looking forward to continuing our love story for many years after that. Thanks for reading!