My Courtship Story: A new phase

Courtship story- part 5 (also read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4)

The turning point

By Christmas 2010 Rohn knew that either we needed to move forward into courtship or cut off all communication for the time being. He began to pray earnestly that God would show him what to do. He didn't feel like he was in a situation to begin courting, yet the thought of not being able to communicate with each other was nearly unbearable.

As Rohn prayed about our friendship, God began to work. Things started to fall into place. One of the biggest things was that Rohn figured out what he was going to major in. That didn't mean that he could finish school any faster, but it did mean that he had a plan and a definite direction. He began to feel that God was leading him to move forward.

During that time, we had the rare privilege of getting to talk on the phone. We had only been allowed to call each other maybe two or three times since CMI, so this was very exciting! We talked about many things, but during the course of the conversation Rohn asked me, "Would you be opposed to getting married before I'm finished with school?" I knew that something was going on, but I didn't know what it was. I said that I wouldn't be opposed and wanted to know why he asked. He wouldn't tell me.

By now Rohn felt like he was at a place where he could ask to court me. It wasn't what he had originally planned, but he strongly felt that this was God's timing. The next hurdle- his parents. Even though his parents really liked me and agreed that I was the right girl for Rohn, they had still been adamant that he was too young to pursue me seriously. How was he going to convince them that this was God's timing for him to move forward?

It was with some fear and trembling that he sat down with both of his parents and explained how God had been working in his life recently and that he wanted to pursue a courtship. They informed him that they also felt that this was the right time for him to pursue me. Shock. How did that happen? What changed their minds? It's another one of those things that we don't know to this day.

With his parents' approval Rohn called my dad and arranged a time to meet with him. I knew that Rohn was coming to talk to my dad, but I still didn't know what the meeting was about. I was pretty sure it was either to ask to court me or to call off the relationship. I suspected it was the former, but I was afraid to let myself think about it lest I be disappointed.

Rohn came to my house in late January and he and my dad went out for coffee together. Rohn had prepared what he was going to say, but was still terribly (understandably) nervous. He explained to my dad his reasons for wanting to pursue me and asked permission to start a courtship. He was sure that the next thing my dad would do was to ask him about his financial situation and how he was prepared to provide for a family, etc. But he didn't. My dad already knew that Rohn was a poor college student. He told Rohn, "Following God is more important than having money. If you are doing what God is asking you to do, He will provide."

When they arrived back at my house, Rohn and I took a walk together. He told me that he had asked my dad for permission to court me and that my dad had told him that he would pray about it and let him know in a week. Rohn told me that he hoped to be able to court me while finishing his sophomore and junior years of college and then get married the following summer. I was thrilled!

So began the longest week of our lives so far. It seemed like my dad must have prayed about that decision for a million years. At least!

The answer

Saturday eventually arrived. The day my dad was supposed to give us an answer. I waited impatiently all day. Morning went by. Afternoon. The evening was slipping away and I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten. Neither Rohn nor I could focus on anything all day and by the end of the day our nerves were shot! I was almost ready to ask Dad if he had made a decision yet, when he pulled me aside and said that he wanted to talk to me. He said that he had prayed about it all week and fasted some as well. He informed me that he felt it was God's will for us to begin courting. I don't know what I did at that point. Maybe I squealed. Maybe I cried. Maybe I did both. All I remember is that I was ecstatically happy! It wasn't terribly late, maybe 8:00 in the evening, but my dad wondered if he should call Rohn then or wait until morning. "Call him now!" I shouted. "Don't make him wait another minute!"

After he finished talking to Rohn, Dad handed the phone to me. I'm pretty sure that conversation was one big jumble. We laughed and cried, and talked about how happy we were and how we couldn't believe that we were actually officially courting! Neither of us had been in a romantic relationship before, so this was a totally new experience for both of us. We felt weird referring to each other as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".

Courtship begins

Of course now that we were "officially" courting and were allowed to talk on the phone and visit each other as much as we liked, the first thing we wanted to do was plan a visit ASAP!

I was helping host a bridal shower at church when Rohn arrived the following weekend. I could hardly wait to get home and see him! I burst in the door only to be told that he and my brother, Abe, and driven into town on some errand. I seemed to take them forever to get back. I met Rohn at the front door as soon as he arrived and asked him where he had gone. He grinned somewhat sheepishly and presented me with a dozen red roses! Definitely a good way to start a courtship!

I have to laugh now as I remember that first visit. Everything was so deliciously awkward! We were so excited and so eager to figure this whole courtship thing out, but everything was so new to us. What are you supposed to do on your first visit? What are you supposed to talk about? How are you supposed to act around a "special friend"?

We were already clear on the fact that the purpose of our relationship was getting to know each other better in order to find out if it was God's will for us to get married. So each of us had made a list of things we wanted to ask the other. Things that would be important to us in a potential spouse. We took turns asking questions and discussing our views and beliefs on different topics. It was exciting and awkward and sweet and wonderful all at the same time. We talked about many things, but there was one topic on both of our lists that we each kept avoiding. "So.........." Rohn began, "Um.....so......like...how do you feel about....um....kids?" I'm pretty sure we both turned bright pink! "Well........." I replied, "Kids are really important to me......so.........um.............if we...uh.....get married....I think we should have..........some."

So began the beautiful courtship stage of our relationship. Don't worry, we quickly figured out how to relate to each other without so much awkwardness!

To be continued......