I am actually looking forward to attending a friend's wedding this weekend and it brought back memories of the last few days before my own wedding. The preparations, the excitement, the laughter and the tears. It's hard to believe that was only five months ago! So anyway, as I was thinking about my friend, wondering how things were going for her, hoping everything is falling into place, excited to be there and see all her hard work pay off, I started asking myself, "If I had it all to do over again, what would I do different? What would I do the same?"
I loved my wedding! It was truly the day of my dreams! I really have no major regrets about my wedding, but there are a few things that I might do differently if I had it to do over again. Hindsight's 20/20 you know. Following is a breakdown of some of the things I wish I had done differently and some things that I'm really glad I did the way I did. This list is probably more practical than profound, but hey, I hope it helps any future brides who might read it!
Things I wish I had done differently
Started the guest list sooner
The guest list was a beast! It took forever to figure out who should be invited and who shouldn't be invited and gather all those addresses! If I had known how much a pain that would be and how long it would take, I would have started on it the moment we got engaged (and got both moms started too)!
Had people RSVP
I didn't ask people to RSVP because we were only having a cake and punch reception and space was not an issue. I thought that RSVPs wouldn't be worth the expense of printing and postage. In retrospect, I really wish that I had asked for an RSVP. It would have cut out a lot of stress and guesswork and it actually might have cost us less since we would have had a more accurate idea of how much cake, punch, napkins, etc. to buy instead of buying so much extra "just in case".
Taken a sleeping aid the night before the rehearsal
A combination of nerves and eating too much chocolate at my bachelorette party made for a pretty sleepless night before rehearsal day! Trust me, when you have lots of decorating and setting up to do, lots of people to see, and a rehearsal and dinner, you don't want to be running on too little sleep! I took some melatonin the night before the actual wedding and I slept like a baby that night!
Bought cheaper flowers
Well, ok, this one should have a disclaimer. If I had to do it over again, I might buy cheaper flowers, but I might not. I was thrilled with my wedding bouquet! It was absolutely gorgeous. But the flowers were pretty expensive and if I was redoing my wedding, I'm not sure if I would still opt to shell out so much money or not.
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Had a receiving line
This is another one that I'm not 100% sure that I would change, but I probably would. Instead of having a receiving line, we just went around and greeted people at their tables. My thought was that it would feel a little more natural this way and I could talk longer with people I am closer to and shorter with people I'm not as close to. Whereas in a receiving line you have to spend an equal amount of time awkwardly trying to find something to say to your mom's fourth cousin that you met once when you were eight and trying to catch up with your best friend who lives far away and you rarely get to see! I really liked greeting people at their tables because it did feel more natural, but at the same time there were a lot of people who left before we got a chance to say hi to them at all. If I had known how it would end up, I probably would have had a receiving line anyway so that I at least would have a chance to greet everyone who was there.
Things I'm glad I did
Printed my own invitations
I have a confession to make. I bought my invitations at Wal-Mart. I was in the wedding aisle looking for something else when the perfect invitations caught my eye! They were just exactly what I had been looking for. I started looking around at other stores to try and find something similar. After all, it doesn't sound very classy to say that you got your wedding invitations at Wal-Mart. But I couldn't find anything else that I liked nearly so well so I eventually ended up buying my invitations from Wal-Mart. So you see, It wasn't that I wanted to get my invitations from Wal-Mart, it's just that Wal-Mart happened to be the only ones who had the invitations I wanted! So of course they were very inexpensive to buy and then I had them printed up at a local print shop which was also inexpensive. I saved a ton of money doing it that way and they turned out just perfect (in my opinion). If you want fancier invitations, this might not be the best option for you, but I wanted simple, so it worked great for me!
Had five bridesmaids
Even though larger wedding parties are becoming more common these days, a large wedding party can be difficult when you're trying to plan your wedding on a limited budget. I had a hard time choosing bridesmaids just because I have so many friends! By the time I narrowed it down to sisters and my two other very best friends, that was still five girls! I tried to figure out how to narrow it down to one or two less and I'm sure that all the girls would have understood my dilemma, but in the end I am so very glad that I went ahead and kept all five! Maybe I would have had more money to spend on other things if I hadn't had so many bridesmaids, but having the people I love with me on my wedding day meant way more to me than more decorations or fancier food.
Had an early afternoon wedding
Our wedding started at 2:00 in the afternoon. There were a number of reasons I'm glad I chose that time. 1) I had plenty of time to get ready and take pictures before the ceremony, 2) the wedding was conveniently between meals, so I could just do cake and punch and not have to serve an entire meal, 3) Rohn and I were able to leave the reception and head to our hotel late afternoon/early evening. We didn't want to have to stay out so late that we would be totally exhausted and not really be able to enjoy our wedding night.
Took pictures before the ceremony
We took the bulk of our wedding pictures before the ceremony. That way we had plenty of time to get all the shots we wanted and we didn't have to worry about keeping people waiting while we were taking pictures. We did take a few pictures of us as a couple after the ceremony, but that didn't take very long.
Did a cake and punch reception
The vast majority of wedding receptions include a meal these days. There's nothing wrong with that, but it can get pretty expensive and I've noticed that a lot of people do it just because they think they have to. If you want to serve a meal at your reception, more power to you! But there's nothing wrong with doing something else either, so do whatever fits your style and your budget.
That obviously wasn't an exhaustive list, just a few things that especially stand out in my mind.
How about you? If you're married, what are the things you wish you had done differently? What are you really glad you did?
