Set Free from the Law

When President Lincoln issued the emancipation proclamation, it stated that as of January 1st 1863, all of the slaves were free. The people who had been formerly held as slaves were free and no longer legally bound to serve their former master. Unfortunately, not all of the slaves knew right away that they were emancipated. Their masters did everything they could to keep the slaves from finding out that they were actually free. For many, it was quite a while later that they actually found out that they didn't have to serve their masters anymore. When Jesus died on the cross, he emancipated us from the law. We are no longer legally bound to follow it. Unfortunately, not all of us know that. Satan is doing everything he can to keep people from finding out that they are free. He wants to keep us thinking that we are enslaved to the law, trying desperately to fulfill something that God already fulfilled through Christ. Even though our freedom was purchased on the cross 2,000 years ago, many of us don't realize until later the freedom that we have in Christ..

For many years I was very confused about the Old Testament Law. I wrestled with it and wrestled with it, but still I couldn't come to a clear understanding. It made complete sense in the context of the Old Testament, but what was its place now that Jesus had come?

The main reason I struggled so much was because of what I was taught at home all of my growing up years. I was taught that anything that wasn't contradicted in the Old Testament still stood. I was taught that there were still parts of the law that we as Christians were required to follow. But which parts? How did we know what we should follow and what we didn't have to? My parents told me that only the sacrificial system and the laws about what you could and couldn't eat had been done away with. All the rest of the law still stood. This didn't make sense to me. There were so many of laws that we didn't follow, like not wearing clothes with more than one kind of thread, or not trimming the corners of your beard. Why didn't we follow those laws? My parents didn't like it when I asked these kind of questions.

I was confused. I didn't really understand my parent's beliefs. They didn't make sense. They weren't consistent. They didn't really seem to line up with the rest of Scripture. But they were my parents! Somehow it seemed wrong not to believe what they taught me. I was only in my early teens when I began struggling with these issues. I thought that maybe when I was older and more spiritually mature, I would understand what they were talking about. But in the meantime I was torn. What did I believe? I didn't feel like I could really support something I wasn't totally convinced was true. But to believe something else in contradiction to my parents instruction? I didn't feel I could do that either.

Over the years, the issue was pushed to the back of my mind. Once in a while it would come up again and I would wrestle with it some more, but nothing really seemed to change. I tried to forget about it as much as possible. It wasn't until I was twenty-two years old that it really surfaced again full force. This time, I knew that it was God bringing it to my attention and I knew I had to deal with it.

It all started when my fiance and I began studying the book of Galatians together. I have the read the book of Galatians many times, but somehow I never understood it before like I understood it this time. The whole book is Paul addressing the church at Galatia who had been told that they still needed to be circumcised. Paul is writing to tell them that they are no longer under the law and if they try to keep it in any point, they have fallen from grace and the death of Jesus means nothing to them. "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Behold I, Paul, say to you that if you receive circumcision, Christ will be of no benefit to you. And I testify again to every man who receives circumcision, that he is under obligation to keep the whole Law. You have been severed from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace. For we through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but faith working through love." (Galatians 5:1-6)

The book of Galatians explains that the reason for the law was to show us that we are sinners, to show us that we need a Savior.  But now that they Savior has come and we have received Him, we no longer need the law. "Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:24-26)

As for the belief that everything in the Old Testament that is not contradicted in the New Testament still stands, it is not my goal to discuss whether or not that is true at this time. But for right now, let's just suppose that it is true. I don't understand the purpose of going through the entire law, point by point, to see whether or not each one is contradicted in the New Testament when God spent an ENTIRE BOOK explaining how we aren't under the law! At all. Any of it. Some would say that I'm just making that up or trying to make the Bible say what I want it to. That is not the case. "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law." (Galatians 5:18) I had to read that verse about 12 times for it to really sink in. I desperately searched for the "but", the "and" the "except" trying to find which part of the law I still WAS under. It wasn't there. There is no exception. It says that if you are led by the Spirit, you ARE NOT UNDER THE LAW. Period. End of sentence.

Paul does not use soft words when he describes the seriousness of trying to follow the law. I already mentioned what he says in chapter 5 verses 1-6. When he talks about the consequences of still holding to the law, he says that "Christ will be of no benefit to you", he says that you will be "under obligation to keep the whole law" (which is impossible, by the way). He talks about being "severed from Christ" and having "fallen from grace" This is serious business, guys! In fact, Paul is not nice in his wish of what will happen to those who are teaching circumcision under the law. In Galatians 5:12 he says, "I wish that those who are troubling you would even mutilate themselves."  If you read that verse in other translations, you will see that what Paul is saying is, "I wish that those who are telling you that you need to be circumcised would just emasculate themselves while they're at it!" That's not a nice thing to say! I get the feeling that Paul felt rather strongly on this subject.

As I studied the book of Galatians, God has shown me with crystal clarity the answers to my questions. When I set aside the things I had always been taught and simply looked at what the Bible actually said, all my confusion melted away. It is not longer a mystery to me what part of the law I am under. None of it! The law served its purpose and now it is done! Hallelujah! Oh the joy of finally realizing that I am free in Christ!

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)


*All scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible

Not perfect

I'm not perfect, but most of the time I feel like I need to be. Sometimes I feel that in order to be a true follower of Christ, I. have. to. be. perfect.

But here's the thing. God never asked me to be perfect. He said, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." The problem is that I often get "holy" and "perfect" mixed up. Being holy like God is holy means turning away from sin. It means having thoughts, actions and attitudes that are pleasing to God. It's different than my convoluted version of "perfect". The Bible tells us what God considers sin. It tells us what is pleasing to Him and what isn't. But I add a lot of stuff to that. My version of perfect includes a lot of stuff that God never said anything about in the Bible.

Some days I get so busy trying to be "perfect" that I forget that I don't have to be. I need to be holy. I don't need to be "perfect". And it's hard to focus on being holy when you're all caught up in being "perfect".

Sometimes I cry.

Sometimes I forget things.

Sometimes I burn dinner.

Sometimes I don't get up when my alarm goes off.

I'm not good at math.

I can't play the piano to save my life.

I hate playing sports.

My courtship wasn't like the books.

Sometimes I laugh too loud.

Sometimes I accidentally say awkward things.

Sometimes I don't cook things from scratch.

I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.

Sometimes I disagree with people I respect.

Sometimes I'm late.

But you know what? It's ok not to be "perfect".

Do you like Jesus?

"I am not ashamed of being a Christian. Jesus said, "Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven." Sadly, 95% of Christians who read this will be too afraid to repost. Copy and paste this to your status if you aren't ashamed of Jesus."

Oh boy...........where to start? We've all seen stuff like this on facebook. That status that has some cliche little saying at the beginning and then tries to put a big guilt trip on you by saying that you must not love Jesus, must be ashamed of being a Christian, must be too afraid, etc. if you don't repost.

The ones that get me the worst are those that include Matthew 10:32&33 and imply that somehow if you don't repost, you are denying Jesus. Please just humor me for a minute and think about what those verses are really talking about.

When Jesus talked about not denying him before men, he was talking to his disciples. He was not talking to a group of people who really needed to go home and "like" Jesus on facebook, He was talking to a group of people who were going to stand before some of the highest authorities of their day and be called to give an account of their faith in Christ. He was talking to men who, within just a few years, would have to choose between denying Jesus and imprisonment, torture and death. These were words that He spoke to them as He was preparing to send them out into the world to preach the Gospel. I don't know how we can take these powerful words of Jesus and cheapen them to mean, "If you don't repost this cheesy facebook status, you're denying Jesus."

If you are a follower of Christ, there should be no doubt in anybody's mind that you are not ashamed of Jesus, whether you repost that status or not! Living for Jesus is so much more than "liking" Him on facebook! C.T. Studd never reposted that status, would you say that he was ashamed of Christ? Corrie Ten Boom never "liked" Jesus, was she afraid to let people know that she loved Him?

I'm not ashamed of Jesus, what I'm ashamed of is this namby-pamby, impotent version of Christianity who's greatest accomplishment is "liking" Jesus on facebook!

I'm not saying that you can't have a witness on facebook, because you definitely can! In fact, if you are a follower of Christ, and you have a facebook account, use it in every way you can to promote the glory of Christ! What I'm saying is that if the only way that people can tell that you aren't ashamed Christ is by the fact that you repost those statuses, there is a problem.

This is the point- It doesn't matter whether or not you "like" Jesus on facebook. It doesn't matter whether or not you repost a status about how much you love Jesus. What matters is how you live it out in your life.

My Courtship Story: A promise of forever

This is the final part of my courtship story. Be sure to read the rest of it (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5)

Courtship

Like I mentioned at the end of part 5, we did learn to related to each other without so much awkwardness. The months that followed the beginning of our courtship were more wonderful than anything I had ever dreamed.......and more challenging than I could have ever imagined.

There were so many things that were new and wonderful. Holding hands with someone for the first time. Hearing Rohn tell me I was beautiful. Learning about each other's interests, beliefs, habits and dreams. Building a trust so deep that I could be completely open and honest with Rohn in ways I had never done with anyone before. Sending him sweet notes, cookies, cards, thinking of ways to let him know how much I cared for him.

There were also many challenges during those months of courtship. Learning to be sensitive to each other's needs. Learning to forgive. Learning to resolve disagreement. Learning to relate to some family members and friends who had less-than-positive attitudes about this new phase of our lives. Learning to share things from our pasts that we'd much rather forget.

Though we spent a lot of time talking about many different things, one thing we never said to each other was, "I love you." The reason we didn't say that was not because we didn't love each other! Far from it! We were falling more in love by the day! But we didn't want "I love you" to be empty meaningless words. We didn't want them to be the same as when a couple of jr. highers say "I love you" and then break up 2 days later. As Rohn said, "Bekah, if I ever tell you that I love you, the next words out of my mouth are going to be, 'Will you marry me?'" That was a hard commitment to keep. I have never wanted to say three simple words so badly in my entire life!

Since Rohn and I live 177 miles apart, we weren't able to see each other as frequently as many couples. Usually only every other weekend. We cherished those times together. When we were together we talked (A LOT!), we spent time with our families, played games, visited each other's churches, participated in ministry and many other activities.

Now what?

Rohn and I spent quite a bit of time serving in ministry together over the summer. As we neared the end of July something began to change in our relationship. We didn't realize it at first, but there seemed to be an underlying tension between us.

You see, we had been courting for 7 months, we knew we wanted to get married, we were certain that God wanted us to get married, we had discussed all the important topics and then some, we had developed a deep and meaningful relationship, and we were head over heals in love with each other. The only logical thing left to do was start planning a wedding! We began to feel like we had mentally and emotionally reached the end of courtship.

As I've said before, relationships don't stay still, they either move forward or backward. At this point we felt that our relationship had gone forward as far as it could without the commitment of engagement.

It seemed as though it was time to get engaged, but as usual, there were problems. We had already been talking about getting married in May, but July to May is an awful long time and we were a bit afraid of making our engagement too long. But the biggest problem was (I'll give you three guesses) once again, his parents. Yup, that's right, when Rohn and I were first friends, they didn't want to meet me. After they met me, they didn't want Rohn to court me. Once we were courting, they didn't want Rohn to marry me (they like me, they really do! I promise!). I don't understand it either. Rohn wanted to get his parents blessing before moving toward engagement, but how was he going to do that since they were set against us getting engaged?

The talk

Finally Rohn decided to just go ahead and talk to his parents anyway. He told his dad that he wanted to talk about something important one Sunday afternoon. "On a scale of one to ten, Dad, this is an eleven." He then proceeded to explain where we were in our relationship and how he felt that it was time to move on to engagement. By now you can probably guess what happened. God worked and Rohn's parents gave their blessing. I don't really know what all was said in that conversation, I just know that at the end after the blessing had been given, Rohn's dad said something to the effect of, "Now hurry up and get going!"

That week Rohn called my dad and arranged a time to meet with both of my parents that Saturday. All correspondence was done via my dad's work e-mail and phone so that there was no way I could stumble upon any evidence. Rohn also contacted Mandy, my best friend and next door neighbor, and enlisted her help for what he was planning.

Friday night my mom asked me off hand, "Dad and I want to go out for a date tomorrow for breakfast, can you watch the kids?" I agreed, but I did think it was a bit unusual. It wasn't unusual for my parents to go on a date, but I couldn't ever remember them going out for breakfast before. The thought did cross my mind that perhaps it had something to do with Rohn, but I checked the caller ID to see if he had called and saw that he hadn't. I kept my ears open, but didn't pick up on any other hints, so I concluded that they must have gone out for some other reason. That Saturday was also the day that my cousin was getting married, so I was a bit distracted anyway.

So it was completely unbeknownst to me that Rohn drove three hours to meet my parents for breakfast and asked them for permission to marry me. They gave their blessing and then Rohn drove three hours back home. With my cousin's wedding and all, there really wasn't any way that he could propose yet that day. Besides the fact that he hadn't bought a ring yet! He bought the ring later that day.

Little did I know

Sunday evening Mandy and I went to hear our other best friend, Bethany, play the organ. We were all talking afterward and Bethany made some comment about me getting married. I rolled my eyes, "I might get married if that boy ever decides to ask me!" Mandy, knowing full well that he was about to propose, replied calmly, "Well, you have to consider his personality. He's not the type to make decisions quickly. Give him time. He might propose in about 20 years or so." I nearly exploded! "If he waits 20 years to propose, I sure hope he can find someone to propose to!"

Before we parted company that night, Mandy and I agreed that we really needed to spend some more time together as she was heading off to college before long. "I really want to go walking on the nature trail one more time before I leave." She told me, "Lets go out there tomorrow afternoon." I agreed.

A dream come true

Monday morning dawned rainy and drizzly. I called Mandy, "This doesn't look like a good day for a walk. Let's do something else." She nearly panicked, "I think the rain has stopped by now and I'm sure it will be nice by later this afternoon." I wasn't convinced, "But it will still be muddy. I don't feel like walking in the mud. Let's do something inside this afternoon and try again tomorrow."

Mandy was really panicking now! How in the world was she going to get me out there? She tried calling Rohn, but he was on his way and didn't have any reception at that point. She called me again after a little while and said, "Hey, I have another idea. Let's go sit on the haybales and talk. I've checked and the grass is all dried off already." I was still a bit worried about the mud, but I agreed to this plan. Now this might seem a little strange to some of you, but you must understand that Mandy and I both live out in the country and walking around in fields and climbing around on haybales are favorite activities for us.

I walked out to meet Mandy and we headed down the road toward the field where the haybales where. As we headed out across the field I noticed someone sitting by on of the bales. I was too far away to see who it was and I thought it must be Mandy's and my younger sisters. The were the only ones I could think of who would be in this field. I didn't think much of it and we kept walking.

After we had walked a little farther, the person stood up and began coming toward us. At that point I could tell that it was a man, but he was still to far away to recognize. At first I thought that we must be intruding on somebody's special moment with their girl and that he was coming to tell us to leave, but then I realized that there was nobody else with him. I kind of started freaking out at that point. I was deliberately walking away from this guy, and he was deliberately coming toward us. I kept asking Mandy, "Who is that guy? What does he want? Mandy! There's a random guy walking toward us!" but she didn't say anything.

Then suddenly I recognized him. I think my heart stopped beating for a second. There was only one reason on earth that Rohn would randomly show up on a Monday afternoon without me knowing about it. I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't move. Mandy just grinned and said, "Well, looks like it's time for me to be going now." and headed back toward home.

As soon as Rohn saw me stop and knew that I recognized him, he began running toward me. I still couldn't move, so I just stood there until he reached me and swept me into his arms. I was still in complete shock and kept asking him, "How did you get here? What are you doing here?". There was only one reason I could think of for him to just show up like this, but I just couldn't get my mind around it.

He took me by the hand and led me back to the place where he had been sitting by the haybale. He had a lawn chair set up and asked me to sit down. He then picked up his guitar, which he had nearby, and began to play a song he had written just for me. They were the sweetest words I had ever heard, all about how much I meant to him. Then he got to the chorus and sang, "And I love you, Bekah, I love you" My heart soared and I started to cry. It was the first time I had heard him say those words!

He finished the song and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. By this time, I was just bawling! He said it didn't take me that long, but to me it felt like forever before I could choke out a "yes!" I gave him a huge hug and he slipped the most beautiful ring I had ever seen onto my finger! We were both giddy with excitement! We jumped and shouted and spun circles around in that field!

It was the perfect proposal. I loved every aspect of it. It nearly brings me to tears just remembering it.

I may be done writing about my love story for now, but the story is definitely not done. We are counting down to our wedding in 57 days and looking forward to continuing our love story for many years after that. Thanks for reading!

Asking the Hard Questions: Don't Skirt the Issue

I know that some people will roll their eyes when they read this and say, "It's about time!" and others will raise cries of "rebel!" and "heretic!".

Here is the question: Is it wrong for a woman to wear pants instead of a skirt?

Trust me, I've dealt with this issue for a long time and I've been on both sides of the fence! When I was about 15, I decided that I should wear skirts. And I held to this decision quite religiously. You see, I thought that since some godly people wore skirts. It must be the only option if I wanted to be godly. But the more I think about the rational behind the skirts-only doctrine, the less it makes sense to me.

I want to address a few of the arguments that I have used to support skirts-only as well as some others that I have heard.

1. The Bible instructs us to be modest

I couldn't agree more! 1 Timothy 2:9 says "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly..." But where in the Bible does it say that a skirt is the definition of modesty? It is true that many skirts are more modest than many pairs of pants. But I've also seen many pairs of pants that are more modest than many skirts. I have asked guys about this and they say that they don't have a problem with girls in pants as long as they aren't super tight (but the same holds true of skirts). Some even said they preferred for girls to wear pants as there was less chance of showing something if you sit or move wrong.

2. Historically it was considered immodest for a woman to wear pants

Historically it was also considered immodest to show your feet or ankles. I don't see anybody arguing for women's feet and ankles to be covered at all times.

3. The Bible says that a woman should not wear men's clothing

It is absolutely true that Deuteronomy 22 says "A woman shall not wear man's clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman's clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God." Please note that this is part of the law of Moses. Are we as believers required to follow the law of Moses? No. We are no longer under the law.

Now let me clarify, I believe it is most glorifying to God when women dress and act like women and when men dress and act like men. But let me point something out. At the time that the Bible was written, men and women BOTH wore robes. So wouldn't it be acceptable for men to wear men's pants and women to wear women's pants?

4. Pants for women is just Satan's way of trying to make sin look acceptable

I've been told that the devil tries to deceive us into thinking that is is ok for a woman to wear men's clothes by making a women's version of them.

Let me reiterate; when the Bible was written, men and women BOTH wore robes. So I asked a skirt-only believer, "If men and women both wore robes in the Bible, how did women make sure they weren't wearing men's clothes?" Here is the answer I got, "Well, I'm sure there was a certain style of robe that was for men and a different one for women." Right...........kind of like one style of pants for men and one for women, eh? How is different styles of the same thing ok as long as it's robes, but it's a ploy of the devil if it's pants?

I also have another question. I've never heard anybody raise cain over men and women both wearing t-shirts. Maybe there are those that do, but I personally have never heard any. Why is it acceptable for men and women to both wear t-shirts (as long as the women wear them with a skirt, of course), but it's not ok for men and women to both wear pants? Why are pants "men's clothing" but t-shirts aren't?

5. Historically, pants were men's clothing

Historically voting was a man's role, but we don't say that it is wrong for women to vote. Since when did historic customs dictate moral law? Sure, it was historically unacceptable to kill people, but we don't refrain from killing people because of history, we hold to it because the Bible says that we shouldn't kill people. So if the Bible doesn't say that it's wrong for women to wear pants, why should history make it wrong?

6. Even Mormons and Muslims wear skirts (or robes, or whatever they call them)

Remind me again why I should base my lifestyle choices on the practices of cults and false religions? I've been told that Muslims would be offended if I wore pants, so I shouldn't do it. If I was ministering to Muslims, I might choose to dress like them in order to be able to build relationships more easily, but seeing as how I don't even know any Muslims, I don't know why I need to dress like them. I mean, a Hindu would be offended by the fact that I eat meat (might be great uncle Bob reincarnated, you know.), but I've never had anyone tell me that I should become a vegetarian based on that fact.

7. Skirts are distinctly feminine

I agree! And I absolutely love wearing skirts for just that reason! If someone chooses to wear skirts because they are very feminine, I have no problem with that! More power to them! But this sounds like a personal preference not a Biblical mandate. The color pink is distinctly feminine too, but that doesn't mean that we should all only wear pink.

8. You never see a man in a skirt

Have you ever seen a kilt? Seriously. Look it up.

Perhaps there is something that I'm missing. Maybe there are valid reasons that I have never heard and I am terribly mislead. But based on what I have heard and read, it seems to me that whether a woman wears pants or skirts is a personal decision. I don't see how one way is more right than the other.

If you have a different point of view, or opinion that you would like me to consider, please share! Really, I mean it. I don't promise to alter my opinion, but I do promise to be interested in hearing what you have to say.

Fed Up

Dear People who are obsessed with the election,

This really isn't about politics. This is about my observation of those who are obsessed with politics.

I am tired of hearing you fight over who is the best candidate. I am tired of hearing you diss your friends based on who they plan to vote for. I'm tired of hearing that anyone who doesn't vote for your candidate is stupid, ignorant, an America hater, or "unchristian". Please remember a few simple facts.

1. Since God is not running for President of the Unites States, all of the candidates are fallible human beings with strengths and weaknesses, all of whom will make mistakes.

2. Each person will assess these strengths and weaknesses from different points of view. Since people tend to have different ideas of which issues are the most important, most likely their conclusions will vary.

3. It's ok that people will come to different conclusions about which candidate is best because each registered voter in the U.S. is allowed to vote for whoever they want to.

4. You will get farther by not attacking people. There are a lot of people who would actually be interested in hearing you give a rational explanation for why you think your candidate is the best, however there are very few people who are interested in hearing you diss everyone who doesn't agree with you.

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sincerely,

Fed up in Kansas

*This letter is not directed toward any specific individuals. It is simply my reaction to the political bickering in general.

My Courtship Story: A new phase

Courtship story- part 5 (also read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4)

The turning point

By Christmas 2010 Rohn knew that either we needed to move forward into courtship or cut off all communication for the time being. He began to pray earnestly that God would show him what to do. He didn't feel like he was in a situation to begin courting, yet the thought of not being able to communicate with each other was nearly unbearable.

As Rohn prayed about our friendship, God began to work. Things started to fall into place. One of the biggest things was that Rohn figured out what he was going to major in. That didn't mean that he could finish school any faster, but it did mean that he had a plan and a definite direction. He began to feel that God was leading him to move forward.

During that time, we had the rare privilege of getting to talk on the phone. We had only been allowed to call each other maybe two or three times since CMI, so this was very exciting! We talked about many things, but during the course of the conversation Rohn asked me, "Would you be opposed to getting married before I'm finished with school?" I knew that something was going on, but I didn't know what it was. I said that I wouldn't be opposed and wanted to know why he asked. He wouldn't tell me.

By now Rohn felt like he was at a place where he could ask to court me. It wasn't what he had originally planned, but he strongly felt that this was God's timing. The next hurdle- his parents. Even though his parents really liked me and agreed that I was the right girl for Rohn, they had still been adamant that he was too young to pursue me seriously. How was he going to convince them that this was God's timing for him to move forward?

It was with some fear and trembling that he sat down with both of his parents and explained how God had been working in his life recently and that he wanted to pursue a courtship. They informed him that they also felt that this was the right time for him to pursue me. Shock. How did that happen? What changed their minds? It's another one of those things that we don't know to this day.

With his parents' approval Rohn called my dad and arranged a time to meet with him. I knew that Rohn was coming to talk to my dad, but I still didn't know what the meeting was about. I was pretty sure it was either to ask to court me or to call off the relationship. I suspected it was the former, but I was afraid to let myself think about it lest I be disappointed.

Rohn came to my house in late January and he and my dad went out for coffee together. Rohn had prepared what he was going to say, but was still terribly (understandably) nervous. He explained to my dad his reasons for wanting to pursue me and asked permission to start a courtship. He was sure that the next thing my dad would do was to ask him about his financial situation and how he was prepared to provide for a family, etc. But he didn't. My dad already knew that Rohn was a poor college student. He told Rohn, "Following God is more important than having money. If you are doing what God is asking you to do, He will provide."

When they arrived back at my house, Rohn and I took a walk together. He told me that he had asked my dad for permission to court me and that my dad had told him that he would pray about it and let him know in a week. Rohn told me that he hoped to be able to court me while finishing his sophomore and junior years of college and then get married the following summer. I was thrilled!

So began the longest week of our lives so far. It seemed like my dad must have prayed about that decision for a million years. At least!

The answer

Saturday eventually arrived. The day my dad was supposed to give us an answer. I waited impatiently all day. Morning went by. Afternoon. The evening was slipping away and I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten. Neither Rohn nor I could focus on anything all day and by the end of the day our nerves were shot! I was almost ready to ask Dad if he had made a decision yet, when he pulled me aside and said that he wanted to talk to me. He said that he had prayed about it all week and fasted some as well. He informed me that he felt it was God's will for us to begin courting. I don't know what I did at that point. Maybe I squealed. Maybe I cried. Maybe I did both. All I remember is that I was ecstatically happy! It wasn't terribly late, maybe 8:00 in the evening, but my dad wondered if he should call Rohn then or wait until morning. "Call him now!" I shouted. "Don't make him wait another minute!"

After he finished talking to Rohn, Dad handed the phone to me. I'm pretty sure that conversation was one big jumble. We laughed and cried, and talked about how happy we were and how we couldn't believe that we were actually officially courting! Neither of us had been in a romantic relationship before, so this was a totally new experience for both of us. We felt weird referring to each other as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".

Courtship begins

Of course now that we were "officially" courting and were allowed to talk on the phone and visit each other as much as we liked, the first thing we wanted to do was plan a visit ASAP!

I was helping host a bridal shower at church when Rohn arrived the following weekend. I could hardly wait to get home and see him! I burst in the door only to be told that he and my brother, Abe, and driven into town on some errand. I seemed to take them forever to get back. I met Rohn at the front door as soon as he arrived and asked him where he had gone. He grinned somewhat sheepishly and presented me with a dozen red roses! Definitely a good way to start a courtship!

I have to laugh now as I remember that first visit. Everything was so deliciously awkward! We were so excited and so eager to figure this whole courtship thing out, but everything was so new to us. What are you supposed to do on your first visit? What are you supposed to talk about? How are you supposed to act around a "special friend"?

We were already clear on the fact that the purpose of our relationship was getting to know each other better in order to find out if it was God's will for us to get married. So each of us had made a list of things we wanted to ask the other. Things that would be important to us in a potential spouse. We took turns asking questions and discussing our views and beliefs on different topics. It was exciting and awkward and sweet and wonderful all at the same time. We talked about many things, but there was one topic on both of our lists that we each kept avoiding. "So.........." Rohn began, "Um.....so......like...how do you feel about....um....kids?" I'm pretty sure we both turned bright pink! "Well........." I replied, "Kids are really important to me......so.........um.............if we...uh.....get married....I think we should have..........some."

So began the beautiful courtship stage of our relationship. Don't worry, we quickly figured out how to relate to each other without so much awkwardness!

To be continued......