As a Newborn Baby

If you've ever been around toddlers, you know what I'm talking about when I say that they don't like to be helped. Mommy (or Daddy or Big Sister or Babysitter) wants to lend a helping hand when it comes to getting dressed and Toddler furrows his brows, yanks the clothes away and states, "I do it myself, Mommy!" Of course Mommy knows exactly what will follow. Toddler will quickly become frustrated when he gets tangled in his shirt and can't find the right hole for his head and when both legs end up in the same pant leg.

I hate to admit, but sometimes I'm a bit too much like a toddler spiritually. I'm not meaning toddler as in, I've matured from a baby, I mean toddler as in, I have a tendency to shout, "I can do it myself, God!" I have a natural discomfort when it comes to situations where crying out to God is the only thing I can do. Maybe it's my American pride, but I sometimes I start feeling like God has done so much for me, I want to do something for Him in return. I don't like always being the one that needs help. I don't want to always be "bothering" God with all of my problems. I don't like feeling needy, I don't like feeling incapable of doing things on my own, I don't like feeling dependent- Whoops! Did I just say that?

Ridiculous though it is, I think that I sometimes forget that total dependence on God means that I have to be.......dependent. I would never come out and say that I don't want to be dependent on God. Of course I need to be dependent on God! But I don't think I quite always realize what that actually means. So many times I find myself thinking things like, "I don't know how to tell if these health issues are serious or not, I hope they go away, otherwise all we could do it is cry out to God." or "I hope our financial situation improves soon so we don't always have to ask God for the next thing that we need." "I wish that we could just get our car looked at so that we don't always have to be asking God to keep us safe." Silly me! Don't I know what total dependence is? It means looking to God for everything, to meet every need!

I think that sometimes God has no other choice than to put me in situations where I am incapable of doing anything for myself in order to teach me to be dependent on Him. He doesn't want toddlers who try to "do it myself!", His desire is for us to be much more like infants whose natural response is to cry out to their Father to meet every need.

Much to my chagrin, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a spiritual adult who is so mature that they don't need to depend on God anymore. If you try that, you will end up much more like a toddler yelling, "I can do it myself, God!"