If I had it all to do over again (my wedding, that is)

Don't get me wrong, I am in no way wishing that I had to plan my wedding all over again! Far from it! I enjoyed planning my wedding, but it was a ton of work and I'm happy that I got to enjoy it once and don't have to do it again!

I am actually looking forward to attending a friend's wedding this weekend and it brought back memories of the last few days before my own wedding. The preparations, the excitement, the laughter and the tears. It's hard to believe that was only five months ago! So anyway, as I was thinking about my friend, wondering how things were going for her, hoping everything is falling into place, excited to be there and see all her hard work pay off, I started asking myself, "If I had it all to do over again, what would I do different? What would I do the same?"

I loved my wedding! It was truly the day of my dreams! I really have no major regrets about my wedding, but there are a few things that I might do differently if I had it to do over again. Hindsight's 20/20 you know. Following is a breakdown of some of the things I wish I had done differently and some things that I'm really glad I did the way I did. This list is probably more practical than profound, but hey, I hope it helps any future brides who might read it!

Things I wish I had done differently

Started the guest list sooner
The guest list was a beast! It took forever to figure out who should be invited and who shouldn't be invited and gather all those addresses! If I had known how much a pain that would be and how long it would take, I would have started on it the moment we got engaged (and got both moms started too)!

Had people RSVP
I didn't ask people to RSVP because we were only having a cake and punch reception and space was not an issue. I thought that RSVPs wouldn't be worth the expense of printing and postage. In retrospect, I really wish that I had asked for an RSVP. It would have cut out a lot of stress and guesswork and it actually might have cost us less since we would have had a more accurate idea of how much cake, punch, napkins, etc. to buy instead of buying so much extra "just in case".

Taken a sleeping aid the night before the rehearsal 
A combination of nerves and eating too much chocolate at my bachelorette party made for a pretty sleepless night before rehearsal day! Trust me, when you have lots of decorating and setting up to do, lots of people to see, and a rehearsal and dinner, you don't want to be running on too little sleep! I took some melatonin the night before the actual wedding and I slept like a baby that night!

Bought cheaper flowers
Well, ok, this one should have a disclaimer. If I had to do it over again, I might buy cheaper flowers, but I might not. I was thrilled with my wedding bouquet! It was absolutely gorgeous. But the flowers were pretty expensive and if I was redoing my wedding, I'm not sure if I would still opt to shell out so much money or not.

Had a receiving line
This is another one that I'm not 100% sure that I would change, but I probably would. Instead of having a receiving line, we just went around and greeted people at their tables. My thought was that it would feel a little more natural this way and I could talk longer with people I am closer to and shorter with people I'm not as close to. Whereas in a receiving line you have to spend an equal amount of time awkwardly trying to find something to say to your mom's fourth cousin that you met once when you were eight and trying to catch up with your best friend who lives far away and you rarely get to see! I really liked greeting people at their tables because it did feel more natural, but at the same time there were a lot of people who left before we got a chance to say hi to them at all. If I had known how it would end up, I probably would have had a receiving line anyway so that I at least would have a chance to greet everyone who was there.


Things I'm glad I did

Printed my own invitations
I have a confession to make. I bought my invitations at Wal-Mart. I was in the wedding aisle looking for something else when the perfect invitations caught my eye! They were just exactly what I had been looking for. I started looking around at other stores to try and find something similar. After all, it doesn't sound very classy to say that you got your wedding invitations at Wal-Mart. But I couldn't find anything else that I liked nearly so well so I eventually ended up buying my invitations from Wal-Mart. So you see, It wasn't that I wanted to get my invitations from Wal-Mart, it's just that Wal-Mart happened to be the only ones who had the invitations I wanted! So of course they were very inexpensive to buy and then I had them printed up at a local print shop which was also inexpensive. I saved a ton of money doing it that way and they turned out just perfect (in my opinion). If you want fancier invitations, this might not be the best option for you, but I wanted simple, so it worked great for me!

Had five bridesmaids
Even though larger wedding parties are becoming more common these days, a large wedding party can be difficult when you're trying to plan your wedding on a limited budget. I had a hard time choosing bridesmaids just because I have so many friends! By the time I narrowed it down to sisters and my two other very best friends, that was still five girls! I tried to figure out how to narrow it down to one or two less and I'm sure that all the girls would have understood my dilemma, but in the end I am so very glad that I went ahead and kept all five! Maybe I would have had more money to spend on other things if I hadn't had so many bridesmaids, but having the people I love with me on my wedding day meant way more to me than more decorations or fancier food.

Had an early afternoon wedding
Our wedding started at 2:00 in the afternoon. There were a number of reasons I'm glad I chose that time. 1) I had plenty of time to get ready and take pictures before the ceremony, 2) the wedding was conveniently between meals, so I could just do cake and punch and not have to serve an entire meal, 3) Rohn and I were able to leave the reception and head to our hotel late afternoon/early evening. We didn't want to have to stay out so late that we would be totally exhausted and not really be able to enjoy our wedding night.

Took pictures before the ceremony
We took the bulk of our wedding pictures before the ceremony. That way we had plenty of time to get all the shots we wanted and we didn't have to worry about keeping people waiting while we were taking pictures. We did take a few pictures of us as a couple after the ceremony, but that didn't take very long.

Did a cake and punch reception
The vast majority of wedding receptions include a meal these days. There's nothing wrong with that, but it can get pretty expensive and I've noticed that a lot of people do it just because they think they have to. If you want to serve a meal at your reception, more power to you! But there's nothing wrong with doing something else either, so do whatever fits your style and your budget.


That obviously wasn't an exhaustive list, just a few things that especially stand out in my mind.

How about you? If you're married, what are the things you wish you had done differently? What are you really glad you did?

Confession: I've started pinning

When Pinterest first became popular, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. I was convinced I would never join. Even after I came to acknowledge some of it's merits, I still didn't want to join because I heard how addictive it could be. And yet, here I am, one of the newest members of Pinterest.

I think maybe it was a sense of needing to justify myself that inspired this post, so here are my reasons for joining Pinterest. As a new wife and homemaker, I have been trying to collect lots of ideas. I have a strong desire to make our apartment comfortable and attractive, but I am a complete novice when it comes to home decorating, so I'm always on the lookout for good ideas. I love to cook and enjoy new ideas for yummy, healthy things to make for my family. I'm not some kind of go-green, tree-hugging person, but I'm not a big fan of artificial chemicals and like to avoid them when I can, so I like trying recipes for homemade cleaners, soaps and beauty products. And I'm trying to do all this stuff on a tight budget, so the opportunity to save a couple dollars is a great motivation to DIY! 

All this to say, the internet is a veritable treasure trove packed with all kinds of tips, tricks, recipes, ideas, inspiration and how-tos. I'm constantly running across things I want to try, but here's my problem, I forget about stuff. I find a good recipe and I intend to come back and try it, but as soon as I close the tab on my browser, I forget all about it. Or if I do happen to remember it, most of the time I can't find the recipe again. But then I joined Pinterest and voila! There you have it, all my great ideas organized in one place! Not to mention a whole new world of more great ideas that other people have already found. 

I still don't want to get addicted, but I have decided that Pinterest is a legitimately valuable tool for me at this time in my life. Now, if I could just manage to get off the website and actually go try all these great ideas I've found............

Snippets of Life: Count Your Many.......Apples?

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes they say. This week my blessings where less like a shower and more like an avalanche! My mother in-law texted and asked if I had room in my refrigerator for apples. How nice to have a few apples, I thought, and responded, "sure!" Within minutes my refrigerator was filled with not a few apples, but a few bags of apples! Apparently Mom and the kids had been apple picking and filled the van so full that they didn't have enough seats for everyone! They of course solved this problem by stopping by and giving me a bunch so that they would have more room in the van.

I suddenly became very busy sorting apples.......

......washing apples.........

........peeling apples.......

........slicing apples..........

.......sugaring apples......

But hey, it was all worth it because the end result was 22 quarts of free apples in my freezer, plus a few leftover to eat!

Now I have visions of apple pie, apple butter and apple crisp all dancing through my head! Maybe next week.........

A Great Song Afterall?

I can't tell you how many times I have found myself thinking, as the ending strains of a song on the radio are dying away, "Ah, that was a great song! What a great message- wait a minute!" I listened to the song and though it was great, but when I actually stopped to think about what it was saying (or wasn't saying), I started to wonder if it was really such a great song afterall.

A lot of songs sound really great when you first hear them, but if you hold them up against the truth of God's Word, they just don't match up. It's so easy to just take every song on Christian radio and assume that because it's being played on K-LOVE it's message must true and in line with Scripture. Unfortunately I've found this is not the case. I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to Christian radio stations just in case they play a song with a false message, I'm saying that you shouldn't just accept the message of every song you hear as truth just because it's sung by a Christian band, played on Christian radio or is about Jesus. The Word of God is the standard by which we determine what is true and so if a song doesn't match with what the Word of God says, then it is false even if it has the label "Christian" on it.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. There is a song on Christian radio called "What Faith Can Do" by the popular Christian band Kutless. I have heard the song several times and studied the lyrics. These were a few of my observations when I compared it with what God's Word says.

"What Faith Can Do" by Kutless

The song begins by talking about how everyone falls from time to time and has pain and problems, which is all true. The second line says "Gotta find the strength to rise" The only place to find the strength to rise about pain and difficulty is found in Jesus, but the song does not specify whether this line is referring to finding strength in Christ or if it is referring to finding the strength in yourself or other sources. Later in the verse the song's intended meaning is more clear. After talking about how you think you're problems are more than you can take, the song says, "But you're stronger, stronger than you think." That is an outright lie. Jesus says, "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5 NASB emphasis mine) Jesus is the only source of true strength.

Another example from the Bible is Paul. If anyone had trouble, Paul did. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul tells us that he had been imprisoned, beaten numerous times, in danger of death beaten, with rods three times, stoned once (no, that doesn't mean drugged, it means having huge rocks thrown at your head until you die), shipwrecked three times, and spent a day and a night in the sea. He also faced dangers from rivers, robbers, his countrymen, people from other countries, and traitors, he faced dangers in the city, the wilderness,and the sea. Paul had experienced labor and hardship, sleepless nights, hunger, thirst, cold, and exposure. If anyone faced pain and hardship, Paul faced pain and hardship! And yet what does he say immediately after giving this list of all his problems? He doesn't talk about how he was stronger than he thought he was or that he found strength in himself. Instead he says, "If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness." In the very next chapter, chapter 12 verse 9, he says, "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."  Paul is looking to Christ as his source of strength, not to himself.

The first line of the chorus is "I've seen dreams that move the mountains" That sounds awfully inspiring and very similar to what the Bible says, but it's not accurate. Jesus said, "truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." (Matthew 17:20 NASB) It is faith, not dreams, that moves mountains. Why? Because a dream is wishful thinking. It's your desire that you have invented and want to see come to pass. Faith is confidence in the power of God to accomplish His purposes. See the difference?

The chorus goes on to say, "I've seen miracles just happen". Do miracles just happen? A miracle is the demonstration of the supernatural power of God in this earth. A miracle is an act of God, not something that just randomly happens. When God does a miracle, it is always for a specific purpose. God doesn't just go around randomly doing random things just to make people happy. When He performs a miracle it is for His glory, for the magnification of His Name, for the furthering of His Kingdom. We can see this clearly evidenced in Scripture.

In verse two the song refers to taking a step out on the water. Since it is a "Christian" song, I presume that this is a reference to Peter walking on water. Next the song says, "it will be alright". As long as Peter kept his eyes firmly focused on Christ, everything was alright, but the moment he took his eyes off of Christ things were anything but alright! Without specifying that it will be alright if you keep your eyes focused on Christ, just saying that it will be alright is nothing but false security.

"You will find your way if you keep believing" is another rather ambiguous line. Believing in what? God?  The Bible? Yourself? Buddha? The statement is left completely wide open.

There are far more errors in this song than I can discuss individually in one blog post, but it is filled from beginning to end with statements about how you are strong, you have to face your problems, you need to try,  you will find the way, you must believe, you can do it, you have the strength to rise. This is not faith, folks, this is human effort. Faith is founded on dependence on God, the message of this song is dependence on self.

I noted as I studied the lyrics that there is not a single mention of God, or even a clear reference to Him, in the entire song. I tried to find where the lyrics indicated that the faith mentioned was faith in God, but the closest I could come was one ambiguous mention of prayer in the chorus.

I chose this song for the purpose of example, because the errors are obvious and there are lots of them. If you have doubts about my observations, feel free to look up the lyrics and take a look at them for yourself! My goal was to show you how far off center the message of even a "Christian" song can be and hopefully emphasize the importance of testing your music against the Word of God before you accept it's message as truth. The people of Berea even tested the message of Paul himself to make sure that it matched with Scripture We would do well to be a little more like them.


"Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so." (Acts 17:11 NASB)

As a Newborn Baby

If you've ever been around toddlers, you know what I'm talking about when I say that they don't like to be helped. Mommy (or Daddy or Big Sister or Babysitter) wants to lend a helping hand when it comes to getting dressed and Toddler furrows his brows, yanks the clothes away and states, "I do it myself, Mommy!" Of course Mommy knows exactly what will follow. Toddler will quickly become frustrated when he gets tangled in his shirt and can't find the right hole for his head and when both legs end up in the same pant leg.

I hate to admit, but sometimes I'm a bit too much like a toddler spiritually. I'm not meaning toddler as in, I've matured from a baby, I mean toddler as in, I have a tendency to shout, "I can do it myself, God!" I have a natural discomfort when it comes to situations where crying out to God is the only thing I can do. Maybe it's my American pride, but I sometimes I start feeling like God has done so much for me, I want to do something for Him in return. I don't like always being the one that needs help. I don't want to always be "bothering" God with all of my problems. I don't like feeling needy, I don't like feeling incapable of doing things on my own, I don't like feeling dependent- Whoops! Did I just say that?

Ridiculous though it is, I think that I sometimes forget that total dependence on God means that I have to be.......dependent. I would never come out and say that I don't want to be dependent on God. Of course I need to be dependent on God! But I don't think I quite always realize what that actually means. So many times I find myself thinking things like, "I don't know how to tell if these health issues are serious or not, I hope they go away, otherwise all we could do it is cry out to God." or "I hope our financial situation improves soon so we don't always have to ask God for the next thing that we need." "I wish that we could just get our car looked at so that we don't always have to be asking God to keep us safe." Silly me! Don't I know what total dependence is? It means looking to God for everything, to meet every need!

I think that sometimes God has no other choice than to put me in situations where I am incapable of doing anything for myself in order to teach me to be dependent on Him. He doesn't want toddlers who try to "do it myself!", His desire is for us to be much more like infants whose natural response is to cry out to their Father to meet every need.

Much to my chagrin, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a spiritual adult who is so mature that they don't need to depend on God anymore. If you try that, you will end up much more like a toddler yelling, "I can do it myself, God!"

Set Free from the Law

When President Lincoln issued the emancipation proclamation, it stated that as of January 1st 1863, all of the slaves were free. The people who had been formerly held as slaves were free and no longer legally bound to serve their former master. Unfortunately, not all of the slaves knew right away that they were emancipated. Their masters did everything they could to keep the slaves from finding out that they were actually free. For many, it was quite a while later that they actually found out that they didn't have to serve their masters anymore. When Jesus died on the cross, he emancipated us from the law. We are no longer legally bound to follow it. Unfortunately, not all of us know that. Satan is doing everything he can to keep people from finding out that they are free. He wants to keep us thinking that we are enslaved to the law, trying desperately to fulfill something that God already fulfilled through Christ. Even though our freedom was purchased on the cross 2,000 years ago, many of us don't realize until later the freedom that we have in Christ..

For many years I was very confused about the Old Testament Law. I wrestled with it and wrestled with it, but still I couldn't come to a clear understanding. It made complete sense in the context of the Old Testament, but what was its place now that Jesus had come?

The main reason I struggled so much was because of what I was taught at home all of my growing up years. I was taught that anything that wasn't contradicted in the Old Testament still stood. I was taught that there were still parts of the law that we as Christians were required to follow. But which parts? How did we know what we should follow and what we didn't have to? My parents told me that only the sacrificial system and the laws about what you could and couldn't eat had been done away with. All the rest of the law still stood. This didn't make sense to me. There were so many of laws that we didn't follow, like not wearing clothes with more than one kind of thread, or not trimming the corners of your beard. Why didn't we follow those laws? My parents didn't like it when I asked these kind of questions.

I was confused. I didn't really understand my parent's beliefs. They didn't make sense. They weren't consistent. They didn't really seem to line up with the rest of Scripture. But they were my parents! Somehow it seemed wrong not to believe what they taught me. I was only in my early teens when I began struggling with these issues. I thought that maybe when I was older and more spiritually mature, I would understand what they were talking about. But in the meantime I was torn. What did I believe? I didn't feel like I could really support something I wasn't totally convinced was true. But to believe something else in contradiction to my parents instruction? I didn't feel I could do that either.

Over the years, the issue was pushed to the back of my mind. Once in a while it would come up again and I would wrestle with it some more, but nothing really seemed to change. I tried to forget about it as much as possible. It wasn't until I was twenty-two years old that it really surfaced again full force. This time, I knew that it was God bringing it to my attention and I knew I had to deal with it.

It all started when my fiance and I began studying the book of Galatians together. I have the read the book of Galatians many times, but somehow I never understood it before like I understood it this time. The whole book is Paul addressing the church at Galatia who had been told that they still needed to be circumcised. Paul is writing to tell them that they are no longer under the law and if they try to keep it in any point, they have fallen from grace and the death of Jesus means nothing to them. "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Behold I, Paul, say to you that if you receive circumcision, Christ will be of no benefit to you. And I testify again to every man who receives circumcision, that he is under obligation to keep the whole Law. You have been severed from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace. For we through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but faith working through love." (Galatians 5:1-6)

The book of Galatians explains that the reason for the law was to show us that we are sinners, to show us that we need a Savior.  But now that they Savior has come and we have received Him, we no longer need the law. "Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:24-26)

As for the belief that everything in the Old Testament that is not contradicted in the New Testament still stands, it is not my goal to discuss whether or not that is true at this time. But for right now, let's just suppose that it is true. I don't understand the purpose of going through the entire law, point by point, to see whether or not each one is contradicted in the New Testament when God spent an ENTIRE BOOK explaining how we aren't under the law! At all. Any of it. Some would say that I'm just making that up or trying to make the Bible say what I want it to. That is not the case. "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law." (Galatians 5:18) I had to read that verse about 12 times for it to really sink in. I desperately searched for the "but", the "and" the "except" trying to find which part of the law I still WAS under. It wasn't there. There is no exception. It says that if you are led by the Spirit, you ARE NOT UNDER THE LAW. Period. End of sentence.

Paul does not use soft words when he describes the seriousness of trying to follow the law. I already mentioned what he says in chapter 5 verses 1-6. When he talks about the consequences of still holding to the law, he says that "Christ will be of no benefit to you", he says that you will be "under obligation to keep the whole law" (which is impossible, by the way). He talks about being "severed from Christ" and having "fallen from grace" This is serious business, guys! In fact, Paul is not nice in his wish of what will happen to those who are teaching circumcision under the law. In Galatians 5:12 he says, "I wish that those who are troubling you would even mutilate themselves."  If you read that verse in other translations, you will see that what Paul is saying is, "I wish that those who are telling you that you need to be circumcised would just emasculate themselves while they're at it!" That's not a nice thing to say! I get the feeling that Paul felt rather strongly on this subject.

As I studied the book of Galatians, God has shown me with crystal clarity the answers to my questions. When I set aside the things I had always been taught and simply looked at what the Bible actually said, all my confusion melted away. It is not longer a mystery to me what part of the law I am under. None of it! The law served its purpose and now it is done! Hallelujah! Oh the joy of finally realizing that I am free in Christ!

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)


*All scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible

Not perfect

I'm not perfect, but most of the time I feel like I need to be. Sometimes I feel that in order to be a true follower of Christ, I. have. to. be. perfect.

But here's the thing. God never asked me to be perfect. He said, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." The problem is that I often get "holy" and "perfect" mixed up. Being holy like God is holy means turning away from sin. It means having thoughts, actions and attitudes that are pleasing to God. It's different than my convoluted version of "perfect". The Bible tells us what God considers sin. It tells us what is pleasing to Him and what isn't. But I add a lot of stuff to that. My version of perfect includes a lot of stuff that God never said anything about in the Bible.

Some days I get so busy trying to be "perfect" that I forget that I don't have to be. I need to be holy. I don't need to be "perfect". And it's hard to focus on being holy when you're all caught up in being "perfect".

Sometimes I cry.

Sometimes I forget things.

Sometimes I burn dinner.

Sometimes I don't get up when my alarm goes off.

I'm not good at math.

I can't play the piano to save my life.

I hate playing sports.

My courtship wasn't like the books.

Sometimes I laugh too loud.

Sometimes I accidentally say awkward things.

Sometimes I don't cook things from scratch.

I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.

Sometimes I disagree with people I respect.

Sometimes I'm late.

But you know what? It's ok not to be "perfect".